


Til Death Due Us Apart

by soaringblue



Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Awkward situations, BAMF Haruno Sakura, F/M, Friendship / Flirting / Thinking of You Fest, Kakashi Can't Catch a Break, Pain, References to Depression, Romance, Some Humor, sakura is an adult, sakura is trying her best, workaholic sakura
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-03
Updated: 2020-12-08
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:07:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27856481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soaringblue/pseuds/soaringblue
Summary: Everybody has demons. Sakura Haruno's demons happen to be her dead ex sensei.A story of tragedy, fate, and lost love.
Relationships: Haruno Sakura/Hatake Kakashi
Comments: 11
Kudos: 57





	1. The Lamp Post

Sakura first saw him in the dead of winter.

When the sun had already set, revealing the shining sparks of light that patterned the endless darkness. The snow had fallen, forming a thin layer of ice on the dirt road. Huffs of smoke evaded her mouth every time a breath was released. Konoha knew of winters that flushed cheeks and threatened frostbite. This winter in particular was a nasty one.

Sakura had finished working the night shift from the hospital and finally was released to head home. She walked down the usual road, which at this time of night was free of shinobi and civilians alike. The only source of light was emitted by a single lamp post and the starry sky.

Sakura rubbed her gloved hands and snuggled her chin further into her red coat. How she ached to see her bed after long hours of extensive surgeries. She wished to lay her head on her pillow and close her eyes. To be lulled to a sweet dream of bliss. Sakura’s eyes fluttered--a yawn escaping her mouth.

Since the war ended months ago, life was slowly dwindling down in the ninja world. Life was more or less shifting back to normal. Well, normal enough where ANBU no longer had to monitor the civilian district.

Walking further down the icy street, her eyes caught sight of a tall individual leaning against the post. His head rested gently on the black steel, head faced towards the twinkling sky, and small huffs of vapor leaving his mouth. 

Sakura noted the lack of clothing. He wore the standard shinobi green vest and black joggers, hands stuffed lightly in his pockets. His silver locks moved rhythmically with the chilling breeze. Under the street light he stood, staring into the night sky.

Sakura gritted her teeth. It was winter, it was cold. Where was his coat?

She shook herself out of her self induced slumber—anger settling in quickly.

This is why breaks at work are hardly a concept to Sakura! It was as nobody in this damn village had common sense. Worst of all, the idiot was a Shinobi. Her face burned red. If only people would care more of themselves, then they wouldn’t come running to the hospital when they developed an illness!

As she thought of approaching the Shinobi—he turned his head.

A sharingan faced her.

Set and unmoving.

Sakura’s movements stilled. Shock pierced her, like the chilled air was no longer hitting her cheeks. It instead moved itself into her body, freezing her body. She felt her heart race, it pounded uncontrollably against her chest as it would burst at any moment.

His eyes had life in them. A swimming brightness that was undeniably there.

His forehead was still wrapped in a Konoha forehead protector as he was ready to march into battle.

Kakashi was dead.

Yet, he was here. Under the single lamp post on this road, safely in Konoha. His eyes staring into Sakura numbly.

A strangled sound left her mouth as she turned her back to the lamp post. Sakura continued a different path home.


	2. The Dead Stay Dead

Seeing ghosts was not an uncommon occurrence for Shinobi. 

Everybody lost someone down the line. Sakura knew of people who would wake from the brink of death claiming their dead loved ones reached out to them. They had always seen it as reassurement and a gate to peace, Sakura didn’t doubt them. But being haunted by one rang alarms. 

Sakura did not walk down her usual route home. She opted to take the circular and much longer path. This went on for weeks until her neighbor would question her on why she came home so late. Of course, Sakura couldn’t mention seeing her long dead sensei and surging a wildfire of ‘Sakura is crazy’ rumors, so she reassured them work was keeping her.

She had already brushed off ‘seeing’ Kakashi as her exhausted brain playing petty tricks on her—the dead stay dead.

Sakura Haruno did not want to see ghosts, so she muted them. She pushed them to the farthest corner of her brain like rampaging thoughts. 

After considering all the variables, the very unlikely case where Kakashi was marked by the death reaper seal and revived had been thought of. But, Kakashi didn’t _look_ like he was reanimated. Instead of the signature pupil less black eyes—his remained grey and sharingan red. No cracks visible on his face and he looked outwardly normal. As alive as the day she lost him. The thought was brushed off, people didn’t conventionally revive. As a medic Sakura knew that better than anybody. Kakashi was dead and it was final. 

That is until the snow had melted away and sweet spring had arrived with a chirp; Sakura saw Kakashi for a second time. 

The pinkette was summoned to the Hokage office. An occurrence that happened less and less over the years as her duties in the hospital overshadowed everything else. As the hospital head, missions were thrown out of the window—she didn’t have the _time_ to aid the village in external matters. Her days were consumed by surgeries, seeing that the hospital was functioning properly, and lecturing reckless Shinobi. Sakura didn’t remember the last time she stepped into the once nerve racking Hokage office. 

_Was it before his death?_ she thought somberly. _It was supposed to be his office._

Sakura picked up her pace, her heels clacking against the titles of the corridor. Her white hospital coat flowed behind her. Strands of her pink locks frizzed up due to the humidity outside. She had rashly strung her long hair into a lazy ponytail. She did not have the opportunity to change into something less eye catching—well, it is not like she cared all that much anyways. Looking presentable was the least of her worries, nobody caught her interest and she could barely fit in basic daily showering into her hectic schedule. Sakura just didn’t have time. Plus, whatever the reason was a direct summon from the Hokage was not a trivial matter. So, going home was out of the question. It was expected to arrive as soon as she could. She didn’t want to imagine what her former mentor intended for her. 

After a few more turns of corners, Sakura arrived outside the closed wooden doors. 

The doors stretched until they hit the line that separated the ceiling and wall. It was a peculiar door and did not blend in with the other entrances. 

Tugging at her coat and breathing deeply, Sakura reached for the knob and twisted. 

Inside the Hokage office, two ANBU members were already filed in. Their masks were placed against their faces and weapons equipped. They pointed to different locations on the map laid on Tsunade's desk, discussing in hushed voices when Sakura stepped in. She entered silently—years of stealth training still not forgotten. 

Sakura stopped short. 

Her fingers on the doorknob trembled, pulse buzzing, and eyes widening. Her eyebrows rose up, wrinkling her forehead, and face creased as if the world had combusted before her eyes. 

Behind Tsunade, peering over at the map, Kakashi stood. 

His hand was to his chin and eyebrows furrowed. A look that Sakura had seen often on his face when he was considering battle plans. He still wore his forest green vest and black joggers from the winter, the Konoha headband wrapped around his forehead. 

Sakura’s lips trembled. She formed a series of signs, bringing her shaking fingers to her mouth. 

It _had_ to be genjutsu. An enemy ninja lurking in the shadows trying to hurt Sakura and they _knew_ where it stung most. Kakashi wasn’t here—she was being tricked. The dead do not come back. 

“Kai,” she whispered. 

The image did not move. 

“Kai,” she repeated, slightly louder.

Kakashi did not dissolve. Instead, he glanced up like he was disturbed by her noise making. Sakura quickly diverted her eyes to the corner of the room, cold sweat forming on the back of her neck. 

Her head spun, thousands of thoughts clouded her mind. 

Kakashi was dead. Her sensei had been dead for _months._ Is this some sort of divine punishment casted on Sakura for failing to save him? Why was she seeing him _now_? This would have been much more convenient when she would cry tears of blood every day for Kakashi to come back, appear in her dreams, or when she would happily accept being casted in a genjutsu to see him. 

Why was his ghost deciding to haunt her now? 

“Sakura?” Tsunade asked. She peered up—a pen pressed to her cheek. 

Finally noticing her presence, the ANBU members turned their heads to a pale faced Sakura. 

Sakura managed to smile weakly. Her heart was still racing as she approached the desk. Her eyes burned into the map, not daring to glance at the looming figure above Tsunade. She settled in between the two ANBU members. 

“You’re late,” Tsunade said. 

Sakura bowed her head in apology. In an small voice she responded, “I-I had a patient when I was summoned. M-my apologies, Hokage-sama.” 

Sakura cringed. She was starting to sound like Hinata. Tsunade would definitely guess something was wrong if Sakura kept this up. Then that would lead to a string of questions that would without a doubt result in Tsunade sending her to the nearest mental institution. Seeing Kakashi’s ghost would not be taken lightly. 

Tsunade sighed. “I understand, I was once head of the hospital too.” Tsunade paused. “Your sensei has rubbed off on you.” 

Sakura stiffend. 

“Hokage-sama,” a flat voice said to her right. “I didn’t expect the head medic. This is an S-class mission. She is a loss our village can not afford. Please reconsider.” 

She shot a look from the corner of her eye at the ANBU member who managed to insult and compliment her simultaneously. She was trying to piece together her thoughts, but calling a Sakura a liability to her face was enough to clear her head at the moment. While she knew her medical position in Konoha was a valuable one, Sakura did not like in the slightest how he saw her as somebody who could not take care of her own self. Before she was a medic, Sakura was a Kunoichi. She had bled for this village and would do it again. 

But, the more pressing thought, was centered around the mission explanation she would soon receive. 

Sakura shifted her feet. She could barely fluctuate her thoughts with Kakashi standing right _there_ , let alone fully listen and comprehend to an S-class mission explanation. 

“I did not expect you to be so easily deceived by looks Bear,” Tsunade commented slyly. “Sakura stood in the front lines of the 3rd Shinobi war and has already proved herself long ago as a capable medic _and_ Shinobi. She wears her headband proudly.” 

Sakura smirked. If she could rely on anybody to defend her position as a Shinobi in this village, it was the teacher who trained her. 

“Forgive me. I spoke out of turn.” 

Tsunade waved her hand dismissively. “Enough of that—we need to go over this mission.” 

Tsunade went on about the details of the S-ranked mission, which listening to was like taking a head dunk in ice water. 

The two ANBU recruits, Bear and Fox were to leave with Sakura in 2 days to Wave country. Upon arrival, Sakura was to examine the daimyo who had succumbed to a serious illness. She was under the obligation to diagnose and treat his illness to the best of her ability. According to the daimyo, their own medics had failed to recognize what disease it was and ultimately find a cure. It seemed he was quite desperate if he had seeked the aid of Konoha. The wave country daimyo first asked for Tsuande to come and cure him, but she refused. The Hokage of Konoha stayed in Konoha. However, the same rule did not apply to the head of the hospital. 

“Wave country is very far away,” Sakura muttered. 

It was depressing to admit, but she had not left the village since the war ended. It scared her to stay hundreds of miles away from her home. The last time she was away from home, Sakura lost somebody very precious to her. 

“I wouldn’t have assigned you this mission if I didn’t have faith in your abilities.” From the way Tsunade's legs swung back, Sakura guessed she had pressed deeper into her seat. “The daimyo has offered a handsome sum for our services and it doesn’t hurt to strengthen our political bond to Wave country, especially the daimyo.” 

It was nothing Sakura could argue about, because she knew Tsuande was right. Sakura was the best choice. She was the only other person in the whole village, other than herself, that would have the slightest idea about what they’re doing. They couldn’t refuse and cause the daimyo to retaliate in anger. Plus, that much money basically sealed the deal. There was no point in discussing this any further. 

“Understood Hokage-sama. I’ll be returning to hospital now,” Sakura announced. She was itching to leave. 

“Wait a second,” Tsunade commanded. 

Sakura stopped in her tracks and turned around—her eyes trained on Tsunade’s black sandals. 

_Damn it, damn it!_ She was so close to leaving, the door was just a few measly inches away. Sakura should’ve bolted for the door when she had the chance. 

“Why are you avoiding my eyes?” Tsuande questioned, her voice was accusatory. 

Sakura gulped. She shifted uncomfortably. 

“I—um—well.” Sakura went blank. She had no idea what to say. No excuses coming to the forefront of her brain. She was flabbergasted, her brain was failing her! 

“Look at me,” Tsunade sternly said. A very obvious command. 

She had wondered if the ANBU members were getting enjoyment out of watching the respected head medic make a fool out of herself. 

Her eyes blinked rapidly. Sakura didn’t _want_ to look at Tsunade, because if she did it that meant catching Kakashi behind her and Sakura didn’t know if she could keep her composure for a second time. 

But it was an order from the Hokage, Sakura couldn’t just _ignore_ her. 

Exhaling shakily, Sakura lifted her head and looked at the leader of the village. She stared into her eyes attempting to black out the background as much as she could, but that didn’t matter. 

Sakura didn’t need to black out the background because Kakashi was no longer there. 

He was not behind the Hokage desk. 

Sakura would have cried if she was alone. Instead, she gave a wiry smile to Tsunade hoping she was satisfied. 

“Go home and get some rest, you’re relieved of your medic duties for today,” Tsuande finally said after moments of a piercing silence. A frown grazed her lips. 

Sakura gave a quick bow, turning around once again. 

But as she walked, head down, she bumped into a muscular figure. Snapping her eyes up, Sakura was face to face with Kakashi. 

She immediately backed up, eyes wide in terror. Sakura touched him! She touched him and he felt _real._

The whole world must have been coming to an end. Kakashi looked as though he was as surprised as her. He felt around his chest as he couldn’t believe she made physical contact with him. 

“Sakura,” Kakashi gasped. 

His voice..that’s _his_ voice. Kakashi had said her name. 

Taking 2 stumbling steps back, Sakura was sure her heart was pounding too fast to be considered normal. Was she going to go into shock? But, she couldn't do anything anymore. Not when her eyes rolled to the back of her head and the Hokage office faded away into darkness. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! After 3am sudden boosts of inspiration, I decided to seriously make this enjoyable to read. I already have the plot outlined, the events that will come up, and the ending. the only problem is getting it written down. The writing part is the hardest, but chapter two is done! Yay! 
> 
> My goal for this chapter was for the readers to see what kind of person Sakura was after Kakashi’s death and the war. As we can see, she is keeping herself very busy. Good thing or bad thing? Well, that’s up to what you guys think. Sakura still got a bit of toughness to her, but she’s “less,” if I could phrase it that way. Also, of course, to follow her thought process on seeing Kakashi at that lamppost and her being so adamant that the dead stay dead (which really isn’t the case in the ninja world and she knows that.) I’m saying too much :0 
> 
> Please leave kudos and comments! Tell me your thoughts!

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave Kudos and comments. This is more of a intro chapter, so other chapters will be longer!


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